"The Meditative Path" By John Cianciosi

Some of us are luckier than others with the mothers we end up with after we are born. Stephanie was one of the lucky ones. Her mother, Judith Ann Vanlaningham Barker, was not perfect but she was the best mom Stephanie ever had. And she was loved deeply by her family and the people who were lucky enough to get to know her. In July of 2014, Judy was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer, which has a survival rate of just 4%. It took nine months for the disease to ultimately win and take Judy away from her family. Judy had only just retired two years before her diagnosis and had felt quite robbed of her life when she found out the prognosis for the disease would leave her with less than a year to live. She had worked her entire life with an eye to retirement and was quite literally pissed that she only was able to enjoy it for two years. That is a sharp kind of regret to feel at the end of one’s life. Stephanie was honored to be holding Judy’s hand as she passed away in her home, surrounded by her loving family. But some experiences in life change a person forever, and this was one of those for Stephanie. Holding grudges became a thing of the past and living life to the fullest and deeply in the moment became a top priority for her. That is why the book being reviewed in this post holds a special place in Stephanie’s heart. One of the greatest gifts that Judy gave to Stephanie long before her diagnosis was a book about meditating called, “The Meditative Path, A Gentle Way to Awareness, Concentration, and Serenity,” by John Cianciosi.

(Well, technically, Judy and Stephanie were having a conversation about slowing down, being in the present moment, and how meditation could teach Stephanie to do that. And then Judy said, “I have this book about meditation that you can borrow.” And well, Stephanie just never gave the book back, as one does when they are the only daughter of a loving mother!)

There are many ways to begin a meditation practice and there are many different ways to practice meditation. This is the first book Stephanie ever read about it so she wanted to share this with you, dear reader, in case you want to become more focused and present in your day to day life. When you do this, you can begin to live your life more deeply and enjoy the time you have left on this plane of existence. There are two things that slow down time, novelty and being completely present in the here and now. Learning how to meditate and then building a daily practice around mindfulness will provide both of those solutions for anyone who feels as though time is getting away from them and something in life needs to change direction.

Hi, I’m H.T. Geek

I write reviews on books that Stephanie has read. She’s read many books on all kinds of different topics and wants to share what she’s learned with anyone who wants to work with her to build a better life for themselves.

Stephanie always picks her favorite top three lessons out of her favorite books to share with her readers even though there are always more than that in any good book. The top three lessons she wants to share with you from this book are how to create the conditions that you need in order to have an effective meditation practice, the different methods of meditation that the author explains, and how practicing meditation organically strengthens awareness and concentration.

One of the questions Stephanie is asked most often is, “Is hypnosis like meditation?” The answer is no, they are two different mental exercises with different outcomes. In hypnosis, we purposefully identify and activate the neural networks in your brain that you want to change, dismantle them, and then build new neural networks so that you can behave the way that you want to. In meditation, the mind becomes calm and the synapses that make up the neural networks cease firing which allows your mind to rest, resulting in more mental clarity, with practice. Having said that, it is possible to enter a hypnotic state from which to begin your meditation (but that is a topic for another post!)

However, they do both have some similarities. For instance, profound relaxation is a common catalyst and/or side effect for entering either state. Relaxation isn’t necessary but it certainly feels pleasant and is a state that so many of us sorely need to experience more of.

“The process of meditation is one of gradually calming down, collecting ourselves, and settling into the present moment. It is not possible to change gears suddenly from our normal fast pace of living to a meditative state without some preliminary preparation. To facilitate the transition, it is helpful to establish a few conductive external conditions.“

When first beginning a meditation practice, preparation for the practice is important and comfort is key. Most of us have very busy lives and it might be hard to carve out time. That is why it is important to put some thought into what a meditation practice will be like in your life. Plan ahead when you know you might have fifteen minutes of quiet time. Make sure to be in comfortable clothes, and that you are “not too hungry, too full, too tired, too hot, or too cold.” You can sit cross legged on a cushion or you can sit on a chair or on a couch. You could even do this in a parked car if you are the family taxi and in between pickups!

Most meditation practices start by having an object of focus, whether that be something you keep your gaze on, something you picture in your mind, or a mantra that is repeated over and over. But in “The Meditation Path,” the author focuses on using the breath as the focal point:

“To help keep the attention on the breath, I often suggest of of the following aids:

Mentally noting “in” with each inhalation and “Out” with each exhalation.

Mentally counting the breath. At the end of the in breath, make a mental note “one.” At the end of the out breath, again note “one.” At the end of the next in breath and out breath, note “two”...”two,” then “three”... “three,” and so forth, until you reach “ten”...”ten.” Then start again at “one.” If at any time you lose count, simply start over with “one…”one.”

The author refers to this kind of meditation as the Mindfulness of Breathing and goes on to discuss three additional ways to use the breath as the focal point for your meditation practice. After becoming familiar with counting the breath, the next step is to watch your body breath and count the breaths without interfering with the natural breathing rhythm. And that is very challenging! After you begin to practice this method you’ll find it is very common that being attentive to your breath will alter the flow. With practice, it does become possible to allow your body to breathe on its own while watching it establish the natural rhythm and it is a very exciting day the first time you accomplish it!

There are two universal habits that occur in meditation. First, the mind will forget to stay focused on the breath and become preoccupied with other thoughts or sensory experiences, drifting from one thought to another with little to no awareness of that even happening. When this happens it is important to acknowledge what the mind is up to and then gently bring the focus back to the breath. So if you are meditating and realize that you have forgotten all about the breath, simply say to yourself, with no anger or disappointment, “thinking…” and then return the focus back to the breath. Every time this happens, you are strengthening your awareness “muscle” so embrace these moments as progress!

The second thing that happens is that you’ll notice your mind is capable of doing multiple things at once:

“While you continue to know the in and out breaths, the mind is also thinking, hearing, feeling sensations in the body, and so forth. In reality, the mind can be conscious of only one experience at any given moment. However, the mind is extremely fast, and consciousness moves from one experience to another with such speed that it gives the impression of simultaneous perceptions of different objects.”

In the time that it takes for a breath to go in and out, the mind can hop around and think about things even if you are still aware of your breathing. This happens when the awareness of the breath is there but the attentiveness, or the focus, on the breath is superficial. The trick here is to focus the attention, or concentrate, so fully on the breath that there is no room left for the mind to wander. Again, this is something that takes practice. And becoming aware that it is happening is just more good news that you are building your power of awareness and as you continue to practice focusing your attention, your ability to concentrate grows stronger.

Meditation is a wonderful tool to bring more clarity and focus into your life. If that is something you are interested in, here is a guided meditation from Stephanie to help you get started on your personal meditative path. What would your life look like, if you were less stressed and better able to keep your attention focused where you want it to be?

Have you read The Meditative Path, A Gentle Way to Awareness, Concentration, and Serenity? Sign in and leave a comment, we would love to hear from you!